A good man died tonight.
I realize that dying is a part of living. We’re all going to die. Some sooner than we should. Some way sooner than we should.
And then there are the ones that linger on.
Suffering. In constant tremendous pain. Their minds confused to the point where they can’t recognize a picture of their spouse of 53 years, their five grown children or any of their 7 Grandchildren. Or the fact that they served proudly in the US Army for years, earning a rack of ribbons that impressed most “lifers”. He had no memory of working a farm for more years than I had been alive, or the fact that he was one of the people that no one dared speak negatively of. He was a good man. He was one of the great ones. And he was reduced to more or less laying in state in a hospital bed.
Alive, but not really living.
Why would anyone want to prolong that? Even for a few minutes. Do I wish his Granddaughter could have made it there in time to say “Goodbye”? Yes. But not if it meant that he had live one second more in the pain he was in. Not even for a second.
I’m just glad his Granddaughter understood.
Dont ya just hate that. That makes me not WANT to do this any more. Who is it you’re “helping” by boosting their O2, or getting their blood sugar out from the basement one more time only to prolong the suffering? Sorry- i feel your pain.
I understand totally and having had to be a part of those kind of decisions twice already it’s excrutatingly painful! I feel your pain and loss but the wiseness you show in understanding not prolonging their pain is truly the comfort that a person can take in this kind of loss! You know where I’m at if you need to yap!
Well said- I DO NOT want to linger in that kind of state…
Great post! I feel the same way. It sounds stupid but reading it almost brought a tear to my eye. Thats about where my grandfather is this christmas. Nobody else in my my family seems to see it like this except my sister (also a fire medic). It kills me to even talk to him… if he even remembers who I am. He is but a shell of the man I knew as a child… Great post! JS
Yes, those of us in EMS now see it all too much…
Our technology is a wonderful gift, but it presents us with a dilemma, doesn’t it? (We sometimes have families rescind a DNR so the patient can be transported by helicopter, only to reinstate the it when they reach tertiary care. Explain that to me, please!!!)
Our pets get old and suffer constant pain and we know it’s time to pull the plug. At some point, I hope we are able to objectively look at our human loved ones in much the same way.
Be well, and Merry Christmas friend Epi.
You walk around some “care” homes and hospital wards, and think, “Why?” Modern medicine has done some wonderful things, but the ability to prolong life is a double edged sword.
That’s one of the things I have enjoyed about the move from EMS to Secondary Care – the ability, in a way, to “help” make those decisions more objectively, rather than based on protocol. Sure, it’s a massive cross to bear ethically and morally, but it was almost “nice” to be able to leave, for example, the post-arrest CVA patient in the ED with their family because although intervening would have prolonged their life, it would have left them with no real life to speak of.
A feeling I share, and a situation The Wife and I have discussed. At some point, death is truly a release.