I am done.
Done feeling sorry for myself. Done downplaying what I’ve accomplished. Done apologizing for things that I don’t need to apologize for. I’m done feeling like I’m simply not good enough. I’m done waiting. I’m done waiting for things to go my way, and done beating the hell out of myself when they don’t.
That’s life after all.
I’m not a victim and I’m not broken. This woe-is-me bull shit is over.
I am a Mom to two of the most beautiful, gracious, compassionate children in the world, and they are truly what is vital to me, they are quite literally the air that I need to breathe. I feel like I’ve won the lottery every day that I get a hug from one of them, every day that I get to tuck them in to bed, every day that I get to argue with them that really “last time you tried chicken you LOVED it!”.
I’m lucky enough to be able to say that I LOVE my job, there aren’t many people who can say that. True, I might not work for the best service in the country. Or in the state. Or even in the city, but I can change that. I can be the change that my employer needs. And I’m working on that now.
I’m fortunate enough to be a part of an amazing group of people learning from a fantastic instructor. We’re all in this for the right reasons, and I can’t wait to see what we can accomplish once we’ve gotten our medic cards.
I am, in fact, surrounded by truly good people. People who I would trust with not only my life but the life of my kids. Some of you might be just a few streets over, some of you are a few states over. There are two of you who don’t even reside in the US. Distance doesn’t really matter after all.
I am a very lucky girl. It might have taken me a good bit to actually realize it, but I know it as fact now.
So I’m done being a Debbie Downer. I’m done being “Dark and Twisty”.
The real me is back. And she’s practically bionic.
Ready or not, ya’ll, here I come.