Let me start this by saying that I realize my posts have been few and far between.
For that I’m truly sorry…
Being a baby medic is a very scary thing for me. I take my job seriously… Becoming a medic has brought on a whole new level of responsibility, and I don’t take it lightly. And I shouldn’t… I know that. I’m dealing with it the only way that I know how.
UGH…. I’m struggling to find the words to describe what I’m feeling right now.
Hrm. Let me put it this way. This is for anyone who is reading this is who currently a medic student. When folks tell you that the only thing scarier than being a student is being set loose to practice on your own… Yeah, they’re right. I have a whole series of posts I could (and have started) writing about this. That’s for another day.
This is about tomorrow. Saturday.
Tomorrow I’m starting at a service that I’ve been trying to get hired into for years… I’m terrified. I have a case of nerves unlike anything I’ve ever dealt with before.
I just keep thinking… Please don’t let me mess this up. Please help me keep my head in the game. Please keep my hands steady. Please let me remember everything that I’ve learned. Please let me do no harm.
Please. Please…
Please just let me do some good.
Just be you and all will be fine. You got there, just keep doing what you do.
Trust your instincts.
You. Will. Be. Fine.
From one baby medic to another. You’ll be fine. Trust me.
trust your self you made it in so it means you are good for them that you are qualified stick in there it say that it take close to one year to one years and half to be confident hang in there
*HUG* You will do wonderful, as you always do :) Let us know how your first day goes! As I just found out recently that’s always the most nerve wracking day!
It is because you are nervous, it is because you are thinking about the care you will provide, that you will, in fact do a great job. This is who and what you are. Justin was right, trust your instincts and everything will be just fine. You go show them your stuff girl!
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Epi, you’ll do fine! EVERYBODY has the jitters when you change jobs/responsibilities! Go forth and do good! WE KNOW YOU CAN!!! :-)
I’d be probably more concerned if you weren’t in the slightest bit nervous. Hang in there – I’m sure you’ll do a fantastic job. Just try and remember to breathe!
Suck it up Sally. Spend less time blogging about being scared and more time building your skills and confidence. None of your readers can do that for you.
People will tell you its bad to doubt yourself in any situation as a medic. That goes against everything we’re ever taught. I don’t believe index of suspicion only applies to trauma or medical, but that it counts toward the required healthy dose of cynicism every old, crusty medic has. I was lucky. My first 3 months, hospitals cringed to hear me call in because they -knew- I was bringing something bad. Know what? Nearly 11 years later, those same hospitals breathe a sigh of relief to hear me call. They know the trials by fire I was exposed to toughened me, steadied me. They know every time my hind end bit the bench from dread on those bad patients, I learned and soaked in every experience I was given. They, along with my fellow medics, realize those years have given me what I need to make the difference I set out to when I decided to become a medic. Become comfortable with your practice, but never lose your doubt. Its nearly as important as O2.
I have no doubt this is true. I am doing a couple things to try to mitigate this. The first is to get as much experience as a basic/IV-tech as I can. I want to be great at those levels. The next is I’m doing the 1 year medic program instead of the 6 month. I’ll have more time to see more patients and see stuff in the field before practicing.
Lastly though, my department almost always has 2 medics on a call. They also don’t let you practice as a sole medic for several months after you are licensed. You have a mentor. You must discuss your treatment plan with this person. It seems pretty effective.
But yes, the day I get licensed as a medic will be terrifying, no doubt.
Glad to see you take your job so seriously though. With that attitude, you’ll be fine.
What’s the FTO program like?
I hate to burst any bubbles, but you are years away from being competent….and one of the WORST things we do as an industry is toss folks out there before they’re ready. EMS has the most clinical responsibility, with the least training and the lowest tolerance for mistakes of anybody else in medicine…oh yeah, and for the least pay.
Your first day at your new “job” ought to really be your first day in your internship…you don’t go to medical school to learn how to be a doctor, and you don’t go to paramedic school to learn how to be a paramedic. The “stress” ought to be minimal, and the fact that you’re worried about remembering “everything” and hurting somebody worries me that your new gig might turn you loose before you’re ready. I hope that isn’t the case.
In case you want to know when you’re competent, its when you quit worrying about the things you’re worried about today…messing up, looking dumb and hurting somebody. When you go to work hoping to intervene in somebody’s worst day because you know you’re going to help them instead of praying that nothing bad happens while you’re at work to make you look stupid, you’ve rounded that corner. If anybody cuts you loose an in-charge inside at LEAST 12 months, they are doing you a disservice. Medicine is about mistakes…which is why they call it practicing instead of performing. You’ll make them…in droves…one after the other, in a pretty constant stream. You’ll miss obscure clinical signs, large telltale signs, make medication errors, make bad transport decisions, talk when you should be listening, be timid when you should be in charge…and when they happen, your co-workers will run you down…mostly because they don’t know what they’re doing either, and desperately don’t want anybody to know it. This happens even in good systems…its a tough tough job with few rewards.
Hopefully, you are in a medic-heavy system with lots of backup…most people aren’t. Pay attention, learn from your errors but don’t dwell on them, do ALS on anybody who calls 911…take manual pressures and listen to lungs on everybody…listen to your patients…the vast majority of them are calling for an issue they already have, and they know more about it than you do. Pray for trauma and codes…those are easy. Know going in that you’ll never come close to knowing it all…so the sooner you quit worrying about remembering “everything”, the sooner you’ll turn that corner from earlier. Always learn, but your head isn’t big enough to cram it all in there. That’s why God made protocol books and pocket guides.
Point being….relax. Nobody ought to be expecting anything from you for quite a while…and if they do, please don’t let them screw you up and ruin your confidence. Nothing is more terrifying than a scared medic, and we as an industry create them all day, every day with sheer idiocy in training and management. If you expect too much from yourself, too soon, it will set you back.
I feel the same way every time I go into work. I feel like I forgotten everything I learned in class and just don’t know what I’m doing sometimes. Good luck with the new job Epi!
Remember to breath… If one thing Medic class has taught Oxygen is good for you :)
I`m a “Baby Medic” too, and I feel the same! Nice to know someone else feels the same.
Don’t show up to save lives. Don’t show up to cure everybody. Show up to care, and to deliver the best quality service that you can under the circumstances as they present themselves. And if anyone ever criticizes your work look to see if their name is on your certification card or paycheck. If not, they can get bent. Have a good shift!
Hello Baby Medic, When I was an intern my preceptor seemed to be trying to clone himself and produce a new, yet expert medic. Just like him. Impossible. I was discussing this situation with a trusted older medic friend of mine and he said my preceptor’s expectations were unfair and unreasonable. He said that the best a preceptor could expect and should be happy with was to produce a safe beginner. Did you hear me? A *safe beginner*. So, if you remember to do BLS before ALS, treat the pt, not the monitor, and to do the right thing for your pt no matter what, then you (and your patients) will be fine. Now go forth and do well.
Thanks, Scott for that great post. I’m a paramedic student getting ready to start my field internship, technically not even a baby medic yet. I have nightmares about what to expect. i hope my preceptor thinks like you
It’s actually quite easy, you just have to know everything.
…and quit being a baby (medic.) You rock! And don’t forget it.
…and the Patriots just lost, so sorry for being such a crab.
You know your stuff… don’t doubt it and trust your instincts. I don’t know you personally but the passion in this post to do a good job proves that you’ll be an AWESOME medic. It takes a lot for someone to open themselves like this. I think every medic that is concerned about providing good care goes through this at varying points in their career.
Cheers
Lot’s of good advice here, even CareUnderFire’s tough love comments. You have the knowledge, the basic tools to be a good paramedic. As I’ve said before, the NREMT exam is the bunny slope of EMS. You’re still not an expert, but you have the tools to become one.
Learn from your mistakes, because you’re going to make them. Better yet, learn from other people’s mistakes and don’t repeat them.
Most of all, learn. Expand your knowledge in the class room and the real world class room where you will be working.
Good luck, and you’ll need some of that too. We all do.
Go get ‘em.
EPI.
Go out there and help somebody.
Dont hesitate, you know your game.
And if you ever are scared as hell just think about the medic you want to be, the one that you look up and be like him/her.
Be strong and confident. You made it trough all the way right?
Regards.
Fun times Epi. You will do some good. you already do.
@Scott I disagree with a bunch of your comments but I’ll just comment on the one I disagree with most:
“do ALS on anybody who calls 911″
Instead, I think I’d advise this new paramedic to do good, solid BLS on everyone who calls 911. Do thorough physical assessments, take detailed vitals and pay attention.
Then, do ALS when it’s appropriate.
If you do good BLS, you’ll know when it’s appropriate.
And Epi, don’t believe the folks who tell you that being a competent paramedic is the hardest thing ever. It’s not. Have some fun.
You’ve got this, Epi.
Old Fart Advice follows:
1. Airway, airway, airway
2. Smile, even when you are scared to death
3. Never admit or show you are scared to death (smiling helps hide this)
4. When in doubt, take them to the hospital
You are gonna do great!