Pink Warm and Dry

Goofus and Gallant: EMS Edition.

Lately I find myself feeling like I’m living a real life cartoon strip at work.  Anyone remember Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine?

You do?  Excellent.  Read on.

You don’t?  Here’s an example:

(For the record, this particular strip is from way before my time   I swear.  Really.)

Here’s what I’ve dealt with lately:

Gallant:  Is at the station before you, washing and stocking the truck.
Goofus:  Shows up to work hungover, or even worse, still drunk.

Gallant:  Can find the ring cutter buried deep in the action area with his or her eyes closed while flying down the highway in a truck with no shocks at 80mph.
Goofus:  Doesn’t know where the main O2 tank or anything else is located on the truck.

Gallant:  Addresses their patients as Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. until instructed by the patient to address them by their first name.
Goofus:  Calls all of their patients “Honey”, “Sweetheart”, or *gasp* “Bubba”.

Gallant:  Makes a point to remember the locations and the entry codes to the various facilities we frequent every day.
Goofus:  Can’t find his way back to the station he works out of from the closest ER.

Gallant: Removes his gloves after each patient interaction.
Goofus: Drives the ambulance to the ER/Doctor’s Office/Hospice/Podiatrist’s office with the contaminated gloves STILL ON.

Eww.  That one just bugs the hell out of me.

Gallant:  Will admit when he or she doesn’t know how to do something.
Goofus: Fakes it because they’re too embarrassed.

Gallant: Will occasionally greet you with coffee. Hey, you do it for them, right?
Goofus: Greets you by grabbing your ass and yelling “Who’s your Daddy???”

Gallant: Arrives at work in a clean and pressed uniform.
Goofus: Arrives at work in a uniform with at least three meals smeared across his/her shirt and pants.

Feel free to chime in with your own