Skip to content


I’m finally there.

17 comments

I found myself sitting in the back of the squad catching my breath.

It truly did look like a bomb had gone off back there.  Countless plastic wrappers, empty med vials and much of the contents of our formerly pristine cabinets were tossed about.  Three different drug boxes were open with some of their contents missing.  Our stretcher sat outside of the ambulance, the lifepak and a mass of cables (hopelessly tangled) sat on top of our backboard on the stretcher.  All of the cabinets had broken tags.

It had been a very long day already, and we had a few more hours of work ahead of us in an attempt to piece together our truck.

**********

It was one of those days where you don’t get to do a lot of sitting.

I think that’s probably the most positive spin I can put on how I was feeling.  I was cold, tired, and getting a little cranky.  We had been running the stripes off the side of the truck… Back to back to back transfers with few and far between opportunities to learn about the new equipment I now have available to me at this service.  After almost 13 straight hours of teching all but one run (and squeezing in driving time when I wasn’t teching) and I was ready to throw in the towel.  Figuratively and literally.

We were posting in a quiet area… If there is such a place… I turned the lights in the mod off and reclined the captains chair.

Bring on the power nap, baby.

I had barely managed to close my eyes when I heard the high pitched tones go off.  OOOOEEEEOOOOOOOUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!!  Unit 427…. 2122 Blackhawk road… Cardiac arrest… Unit 427…2122—”

*Blink*

I leaned forward into the driving compartment and strained to hear the rest of the dispatch.  ”They just said Cardiac arrest, right?”

“Sure did,” My FTO replied as he threw the truck into drive and lit us up.

Airway bag.  Monitor.  Drug box. They’ll all need to go in.  What are the ACLS drugs and dosages?  Crap, I can’t remember the dosages…  Uhm… SHIT!  Where are the IO needles and pressure infusers kept? Do we have an extra roll of paper for the monitor?  ET or King?  Where’s the vent?  We’ll need a backboard too…  I tossed my field guide in the action area, just in case.

I had a good seven minutes to complete my mental checklist and load the stretcher up… My FTO had barely managed to hit the brakes before a Volunteer Firefighter was throwing open the back doors to the squad.

“It’s an ARREST!  BRING IT ALL!!!”  He sounded significantly more rattled than I did, which is an odd feeling for me.

I’m usually the shaky one.

I shook my head in an effort to clear my mind and jumped out of the back of the truck. The volunteer and I dragged the fully loaded stretcher across the gravel driveway towards the front door of the home.  Bright red, amber and blue lights from various vehicles bounced off of the houses.  It was a little disorienting… Kind of like stepping into a crazy nightclub environment and feeling dizzy from the light show going on inside.

**********

A man I recognized as being a fellow coworker from the last service I worked at was kneeling next to the AED while another pumped furiously on the patients chest.  ”Clear… CLEAR!!!”

The patients arms jerked like someone had just scared the life out of him.

Hrm.  I’ve never seen that happen before outside of TV or a movie…

The living room of the trailer was at capacity.  Three guys in turnout gear were mixed in with three others volunteers in jeans, sweat pants and shorts.  The patients wife sat stone-faced in a rocking chair while his two Sons held back his hysterical Daughter.  A curious neighbor hung out with the two Sheriff’s deputies outside.

“What do we have?”  I got a good look at our patient… He looked pretty good for a man in cardiac arrest… Diaphoretic, sure, but very pink.  Good on ya for the fantastic compressions, mate!

“VFib.  That was the second shock.  He was out doing some work in the back yard, came in the house, complained about some chest pain, and just dropped right here.  His son started CPR.”  The firefighter doing compressions on the large man was doing his best to give us a run down, it was very clear that he was running out of steam.  ”Someone switch with me,” he asked, a little deflated.  I’m sure his back and shoulders were screaming at him.

The next few minutes was filled with some organized chaos.

Switched to our monitor.

King LT placed with ResQPod.

Another shock.

Bilateral IO’s drilled in.

Epi pushed.

More compressions.

Another shock.

Epi pushed.

More compressions with a fresh set of arms.

Another shock.

Amiodarone pushed.

More compressions.

I was furiously scribbling down notes and reaching for another Epi when something caught my eye.  It looked like our patient with the previously dead eyes was now attempting to chew on his tube. Others noticed it too.  Three of us simultaneously reached towards pulse points on the patient.

Hey, that’s a strong radial.

“Stop… Stop for a minute,” someone yelled.  All of the activity in the room ceased for a few brief seconds while we held our breath.

That’s definitely a pulse.  That’s a good pulse.

Oh my GOD, DAD?  DADDY???” The grown woman broke past her brothers and rushed us.  ”Is he going to live?  Did you get him back???”  She grabbed on to my arm and pleaded with me to make a promise that her Father was going to live.

I froze.  I was standing there holding the IV bags looking much like a deer trapped in headlights.  ”Uhm… We’ll do everything that we can, Ma’am… He has a long way to go, but his heart is beating on it’s own.”  I didn’t know what else to say.  I didn’t want to give her any false hope, I just wanted to get her Dad into the back of the truck and haul ass to the closest ER.

**********

He survived, and the last I heard he was neurologically intact.

We ended up doing a few 12-leads that revealed a massive inferior MI.  We kept his BP up and packed his groin and axilla with ice packs.  He got fentanyl and chilled saline.  When he started bucking the tube we RSI’d him.

A STEMI and ICE alert was called in with the report.  Luckily (if there is a way for an arrest patient to be considered lucky), we only had a ten minute transport to a STEMI center.   The patient was heading to the cath lab within a few minutes of arrival at the ER.

This was the first arrest that I’ve been able to take part in since becoming a paramedic, and it was a hell of a learning experience.

Here’s what I really picked up on during this run.  And this is in no order whatsoever….

I’ve learned that these runs work best when egos are left at the door.  I thank God that wasn’t an issue on this run.  Everyone worked together.  It was the best case scenario for the patient.

I’ve learned that there is no ALS without BLS.  We’re told this in school, and we know it in our heads, but when you see it in person, when you see that arrest patient with pink skin… because of good compressions, a BLS skill… Well, that kind of cements it in your head.  Make sure your basic skills are excellent before moving up in certification levels.

I learned that getting amped up on a run like this is best handled by remembering to breathe.  Seriously.  Keep breathing.

I learned that it’s a good idea to know if family is riding up front during transport. We often have a coping mechanism during stressful situations that most people don’t understand.  We make jokes, we say things that lay folk would find a little… well… inappropriate.  If positions were switched I can’t say I’d feel differently.  It’s all said in an effort to break the tension, and there’s absolutely no disrespect meant, but the average person isn’t going to realize that.  Just be conscious of who’s riding along.

I learned how important it is to keep track of your equipment. Equipment like thermometers, for instance, tend to disappear rather easily in the back of a squad with five people and a patient.

I know I’ve said this before… Multiple times, in fact, and I’m going to say it again.  Know the back of your truck. Know the back of your truck. KNOW THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK. This was only my 4th shift with this service, and honestly, I thought I knew where everything was… Or at least what cabinet it was in.  I was wrong.  It wasn’t anything vital, and my FTO wasn’t upset over it, but damn if I wasn’t angry with myself over it.

So there it is, ya’ll.  My first code as a medic.  And he not only lived, but he’s still the same person.  I was a part in that as a member of a team that really did work well together.

It’s a feeling that can’t be beat.

One more thing… I made ya’ll a promise well over a year ago that when I finally pushed epinephrine as a medic that I’d do it with my people in mind (it was a little quirk of mine given my namesake).  For every single person who listened to me while I was in school, for every person who gave money (which I still can’t wrap my head around) so that I could actually go back to school… For every person who told me that I could do it.  For every person who told me that I had the stuff to reach this goal… For every person who let me start an IV on them.  For every person who was… There.  In any way shape or form.

I’m finally there.  I’m where I should be.  Thank you.  And that field guide… Never looked at it.  Not even once.

New Addition to the Blogroll

1 comment

Please welcome Hybrid Medic to the Blogroll…   He’s got some great experience as both as a Paramedic and Firefighter in a major metropolitan city and I’ve really enjoyed the posts that he’s put up.  He’s been one of the people that I’ve gone to with questions lately, and I’ve really appreciated his input.

Here’s a post he wrote very recently on Medic school.  Enjoy!

New Digs

3 comments

I’m back :)

I’m sorry that I’ve been so quiet lately… I truly believe I just needed a little Medic School cool off period.

I’m all good now.

You might have noticed that I’ve moved over to the JEMS Fire/EMS blog network, and I’m in some fantastic company!  Ambulance Driver (Not just my Blogfather, THE Blogfather), Happy Medic, Medic 999, Medic 22, Life Under The Lights Rescuing Providence… I could go on and on.  I’m humbled to be included among them.

If you have me bookmarked, you may want to update the address.  I’m now located at http://www.pinkwarmdry.com.  No more picture of my screaming daughter.  No more /blog on the end.

Nothing else has changed, I’ll still be rambling on about my kids, and I’ll still be writing about the love affair I have with my job.

Thank you for standing by me for the last year while I’ve been on this journey.  It’s been a wild ride, and I have a lot of stories to tell.

Stay safe out there.

How do you know…

8 comments

How do you know you have a good preceptor?

When they know that IV’s are a sore spot for you and they volunteer their arms.  And hands.  And wrists.

Meet Kozi.  One of the best preceptors to ever walk this planet.

He was my lifeboat of calm in an ocean of “OhmyGODwhatdoIdoNOW????”  He was the one who would catch my eye and in a fraction of a second have me chilled out enough to realize that I actually knew what needed to be done.  And what had to be done next.  And what should be done after that.  He was also the one who would kick me in the ass if I was trying to blend into the ugly wallpaper that so often hangs in the hallways of those ECF’s.

And I needed that. All of it.

He never made me feel like I was “less than”… He never made me feel like an idiot for being so nervous, or for missing an IV or for calling a certain rhythm… *gulp* Well, let’s just say that my rhythm interpretation during third rides was at times less than stellar.

It was NERVES, ya’ll.  And AF with RVR can look like SVT.  Just saying.

All I can say is that when the shit hit the fan, he was there to keep me sane.

He was also the one person who showed up at Pearson after I took my National Registry test and handed me a Paramedic pin…  That he bought seven days before.  Because he knew I’d make it, even when I didn’t.

I hit the jackpot as far as preceptors go.

Thank you, Kozi.

I couldn’t have gotten through it without ya.

The Short Version.

28 comments

A little under a year ago about seventy of you stepped forward and offered a gift that even 11 months later I can’t wrap my head around.  In this economy, in this job field, where so many have such a difficult time getting by, you made it possible for a girl you’ve never met (well, a few of you had met me, but just a few) to go back to school.

Boggles my mind.

11 months later, I’m a Paramedic.

Me.

I’m a medic.

I have a post I’m working on, but I’m currently on vacation, floating on a raft and sipping a wholesome glass of ice cold milk.  Give me two days with more than three hours of sleep and I promise to have something worth reading up here.  I have a lot of thank you notes to write. ;)

I couldn’t have done it without you.

In other news…

9 comments

That isn’t baby related… (Did I mention how beautiful my niece is?  I did?  Oh, my bad)

I passed my NREMT practical test.

I celebrated by riding on a truck with a preceptor who can take me from near tears to calm with just a look, and his partner, who I couldn’t love any more if she were the sister I never had.

Exactly eight days and six hours from now I’ll sit for the class final.  As soon as humanly possible after passing that I’ll sit for the NR test.

Holy crap, ya’ll.


For the EMS folks :)

7 comments

This coming Wednesday (July 14) at 7pm EST I’ll be a guest on the EMS Office Hours podcast.

Me.  Holy cow, ya’ll.

I’ll be talking with Jim about finishing up with Paramedic school, my experience so far, and my expectations as a new medic.

Feel free to pop on by Wednesday night and heckle me participate in the program!

RIP

25 comments

I Can’t, age 34, passed away July 6th after a long battle with the soul of a Paramedic Student.  I Can’t was survived by parents,  Self Doubt and Intimidation, and siblings I Tried and Maybe Next Time.  She is preceded in death by her best friend, Nevermind.  I Cant’s family will remember her as being a constant downer, fighting to the end to bring her victims down and causing nothing but negativity in the lives of those she touched.  They could not be prouder of the life she lived.

There will be no services or visitation.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the “Infecting the mind of anyone who’s ever been too close to their goal” fund at your local watering hole.

**********

Yep.  I took her down.  So those of you out there (and it’s been made abundantly clear who you are) who don’t think I can do the medic thing?  Ya know what?  Kiss my yankee ass.

Sweetness and light has been thrown out the window at this point.  Those ‘woe is me’ moments?  I might still have them, but in the next 19 days I plan on destroying them as well.

Ya know what, “I Can’t” and family?

Screw you.

I might still shake, but I have this.  I got this.

And after I take care of my patient, your ass is mine.

It's 0240-ish…

12 comments

And I can’t sleep.

The one goal I’ve had in the last five plus years is to be a Paramedic.

Yeah, for some of you out there, I know that doesn’t sound like much.  Some of you have been working as Medics  for longer than I’ve been in EMS.  In some cases it’s five times as long as I’ve been a Basic.  Some of you have forgotten what this feels like.  Some of you have never felt this way.  This is just me being very real.

This is not just some job to me.  It’s the only thing (other than my little ones) that means anything to me.  And I’m *THIS CLOSE*….

And I’m terrified.

I’m no longer worried that I’ll finish.  I’m worried about being set loose with a P card.

I don’t want to be half assed at this.

I don’t want to be merely adequate.

I’m not cool with just meeting the minimum standards. I believe the standards should be set HIGHER.  And at the same time, I want to exceed those standards.

I know I’m rambling… This is what happens when I have enough time to step back from my situation and take everything in.

I have three weeks left before my final.

21 days.

That’s it.

Oh…my… Goodness.

Donate Life

6 comments

I don’t know if you had any idea that you were going to die.

I don’t know if you got a chance to say your goodbyes.  To hug your babies… To squeeze the hand of your spouse.  To spend those last moments with the people who meant the most to you.   I don’t know if you had made your peace with God, or even if you were a religious person.  I don’t know anything about you.

That’s not true, actually.

I know one thing about you.

I know that you made a decision.  At some point you decided that should something happen to you, should your life end… That you would give one final gift.  Parts of you would live on through organ donation.

It’s not always an easy discussion with your family, I know it wasn’t with mine.  But I DID have that talk. Multiple times in some cases (I’m pretty sure that my Mother is on board with my decision now).  I’ve had that talk, I’ve signed a donor card, which is always in my wallet, and I’ve indicated my wishes on my drivers license.

You did the same, I’d assume.

I don’t know where your heart ended up, but I have a feeling that it’s beating right now in someone’s chest.

Someone who will have another day, because of your selfless gift.

Godspeed.  Whoever you are.

Donate Life

25

No comments

25 days.

1500 hours.

90,000 minutes.

5,400,000 minutes.

More IV’s, squad hours, BVM’s, ALS team leads, ER hours, tubes and just about everything else than I can wrap my head around.

That being said… I’m game.

I got this.

25 days to go.

Hallelujah for the Second Chance.

15 comments

The biggest influences in your life are sitting next to you.

Sometimes, literally.  Sometimes figuratively.

As my second attempt at Medic school comes to a close, I’ve up until VERY recently found myself excited beyond believe, but at the same time, absolutely terrified.

A few months ago I put a facebook update up that looked a little like this:

That was almost two months ago.  Eight weeks later, and just 4 weeks (seven more classes… Oh my GOD, just SEVEN CLASSES?????) from finishing I was finding myself infinitely more nervous.  I thought this was supposed to get easier.

I’ve been here before.  Maybe that was the problem. I had been *this close*.

***********

A little over four years ago I enrolled in a Paramedic program.  It’s hard to believe that I was even greener and sparkier then, but I was.  I loved every second of it.  Every test that was put in front of me I knocked out of the park.  I went into every clinical opportunity bright eyed and excited and PRAYING that something cool would happen.  By cool, I mean horrifying to the average person, unfortunately.  I couldn’t wait to get to the ER for my time there.  When my third rides/internship started, I almost lost my mind I was so geeked.  It was on those third rides that something… Uhm… cool happened.  And again, by cool, I mean… Horrifying.  Not once, but twice.

Not one, but two Pedi codes.  One SIDS, one due to a house fire.

Well, there ya go, Epi.  You got what you wished for.   Nothing supplies a bigger sympathetic dump/pucker factor for a student than a code.  Unfortunately there’s no chapter in a textbook that explains how you deal with two pediatric codes that occur three squad rides apart when you’re used to being on a transfer truck and taking Grandma to dialysis.  I was quickly drowning in a sea of self-doubt.

I’m not tough enough for this job.

I’m too emotional.

I’m a black cloud.

I can’t do this.

I CAN’T do this.

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I’M GETTING BACK ON THAT TRUCK!!!!

I was a part of two separate CISD’s (don’t EVER ask me my opinion on a CISD) and several conversations with the people who I respected the most.  In the end it was a mix of people I had never met in person and classmates I wasn’t even particularly close to who pulled me through.  I can’t explain how or why their words were able to convince me not only to stay in EMS, but to stay in the medic program…   I’m just grateful that I had them.  Still, I didn’t truly believe that I’d make it out of the class.  I can’t explain why, because honestly, I don’t know what was in my head back then.

Two weeks before the end of the program I blew out my back on a clinical.  I missed two classes and just like that,  I found myself washed out of the program.  I was simultaneously crushed and relieved.  Crushed because I had spent eleven months missing my kids, holidays, birthdays, etc, and I would have nothing to show for it. Relieved, because as a basic EMT working at a private service in NW Ohio, I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing another baby die in front of me.  There is nothing worse than that in my mind.  Nothing.  To this day I still have nightmares.

I guess I just wasn’t ready then.

Three years later I got my second chance.  I was back in P school (thank you!), and I was going to get through it this time come hell or high water.  I studied my ass off, I picked the brains of the people around me when I couldn’t figure something out, and mentally got myself ready for the clinical time.  I knew I was still green, I knew that the ghosts from my first time through school would still be with me.  I knew it was going to be a challenge.  And it has been.  It’s very hard to admit, but there is very little about me that is calm while on the scene with a person who is truly sick, who really needs my help.  My hands shake and I sweat like it’s my job.  Think about it, as a patient whose world is crashing down on them, would you put your life in the hands of a tall redhead with shaky hands who looks like she might throw up on herself any second?

I wouldn’t.

There is one huge difference between the girl I was back then and the girl I am now. I now know that this is what I was meant to do.  I truly believe it.  I believe that the education I’ve received through both programs is the perfect starting point for me.  I might not be calm, I might not be the picture of professionalism and grace while I’m trying to start an IV on someone in the back of a squad rumbling down a bumpy road while sweating my ass off…  My own little sympathetic dump might still make my heart race and my hands shake, but it doesn’t render me incapable of functioning. And thanks to my people… The biggest influences in my life, I KNOW I’m where I belong. The nervousness is actually *gasp* NORMAL!

I want to thank a few people who have gone above and beyond the call of duty to help me on this journey.

My Instructor, who is pretty much the most patient and simultaneously bad ass Medic/Instructor I know.  I’m fairly certain that if I ever have another baby, I’ll name that child after my instructor regardless of it’s sex.  I’ve been a gigantic pain in the backside to this man, and he’s stood by me and encouraged me from day one.

Medic Matthew, the best friend I’ve never met, who seems to be the first person I run to when I have one of those “You’re NEVER going to believe this” moments.

Ambulance Driver, who has been one of my biggest influences.  My go-to guy for ANY question I have.  The one who won’t hesitate to put a very large bootprint on my backside when I start to complain.  Because I have absolutely no business complaining as far as school goes.  Knowing that he believes I can do this has gotten me further than he could imagine.

CKEMTP and a good friend who I’ll call TFD, both who through a few conversations told me in no uncertain terms that what I was feeling was okay.  For a shaky green nervous girl like me, that elevates them to sainthood.  Realizing that I’m SUPPOSED to be nervous… Holy COW, what a load off of my shoulders.  Particularly when it seems like every other person in my class is cool as a cucumber during clinical time.

Lisa, who I have clung to like a sister.  I talked her into believing that she could get through basic school, and we talked each other into KNOWING that we could both make it through P school.  Again, someone I’ve never met, who knows me better than most of my closest friends know me.

Happy Medic and Medic 999.  Who have no idea how much they’ve inspired me to do more and to be better.  To do more than just talk about what’s broken in my area as far as EMS goes, but that the improvements could actually start with me. If they could accomplish what they have with their resources, certainly I could do my part to do the same.  It starts with being able to do more for my patients on the truck.  It starts furthering my education.

I am going to rock this.

But I’m probably going to do a fair amount of sweating for quite awhile.  Either way….

Hallelujah for the second chance.

Viva la heart!

10 comments

I’ve always known that there was this hunk of muscle about the size of my fist in my chest.  I knew it pumped blood through my entire body, and that as long as it kept beating at a somewhat regular pace, say about 80 beats per minute, that that was a good thing.

Then I started Paramedic school.

The Cardiovascular system is one of the more challenging chapters for many.  Some dread it.  I looked forward to it like a kid being let loose in Toys R Us with a million bucks.  Or a certain medic student being let loose in a Coach purse store with 10 million bucks.

Yep.  I’m a geek.  Sue me :)

The more I learned, the more I wanted to learn.  I would seek out cardiac patients during my ER time.  I would frequently read articles from various websites and blogs written by people who have forgotten more about the heart than what I’ve learned (big shout out to Prehospital 12-lead and Paramedicine 101).  When I couldn’t quite understand something, I went to my people.  Blogdaddy Ambulance DriverMedic Matthew, and JB.

I learned about the atria, ventricles, conduction pathways and coronary arteries.  I learned about 3 leads, memorized rules to rhythms, and eventually began to understand what was going on in the heart to cause a certain rhythm to march across the monitor.  We learned about AMI’s, and 12-leads, and how doing something as simple as moving V4 can mean the difference between nitro and fluids.  I didn’t just memorize drugs and doses and that you push Adenosine really freaking fast, I learned the why behind it.

And that was  just scratching the surface. What I’ve just begun to learn… It’s hard to wrap my head around.

We’ve been done with the chapters for a few months now, and I’m still eating up all of the information I can get my hands on with a big ole spoon.  Today, for instance, was a very cool day.  Today I was fortunate enough to be able to spend some time in a cath lab.

The first thing I learned was that I look awful in scrubs.

(And yes, that’s a Chronicles sticker on the back of my phone :)

And wearing boots certainly didn’t help.

Wow, way to get off track.

Not five minutes after getting into my lovely ensemble I found myself donning a lead vest and skirt, a cap over my hair and a mask.  I was invited to watch someone have a dual chamber pacemaker put in.  The Doctor, I wish I had remembered his name, was fantastic. He really took the time to explain what he was doing as he did it, and inviting me to stand directly to his right.  I had a front row seat.  And it was so unbelievably cool.

Electricity.  It’s good stuff when it works.  When Sydney Sinus gets sick, however, all kinds of wickedness kicks up.  I watched the patients rate and rhythm change like the weather does in NW Ohio.  Which is to say often and unpredictably.  At one point there was a sinus arrest that lasted just long enough to make my heart race, about 15 seconds before returning to RSR.

The rest of my shift was equally as cool.  I was able to watch a few PCI’s being performed, and watched with held breath as pefusion was returned to what had been a blocked RCA.  And again, everything was explained to me as it was done, everyone went out of their way to answer any questions I had.

This is how it’s done, folks, these people were amazing.  And I am so grateful for the opportunity that I was given to learn and observe.

**********

I’m within a few short weeks of finish the course, and I couldn’t be more excited.  Right now my days are pretty much consumed by class and clinical time.  The next 30 days, for example have me doing six 15-hour third rides on a life squad, two eight hour OR shifts for intubations, two OB shifts (cross your fingers, I still need a live birth!), seven ER shifts, a major exam and of course the days of lecture and lab.

Am I complaining?  Absolutely not. Still, some days are easier than others, and I when I need a swift verbal kick to the backside, I know who to call.  Honestly, though, I’m doing well.  I knew this would be a challenge when I started, and it should be.

Take care ya’ll, and again, thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity!  I wont let you down!

To Whomever…

14 comments

…Is the Patron Saint of Medic Students….

I know that there must be one.

Dear Patron Saint of Medic Students,

Please… Pretty please… Oh PLEASE give me a live birth tomorrow.

Please let some wonderfully understanding (and medic student friendly) woman find herself in the position where she’s ready to bring her little bundle of joy into the world.  Let her be near the hospital that I’ll be at.  Let her feel compelled to come to said hospital and deliver her baby.

And let me be there.

Please?  Pretty please?

Also, I’ve been looking for my IV mojo.  If you’ve seen it, please send it back.  There are a few bruised up folks walking around the city because of me.

Kthxbai.

I mean, In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost,

Epijunky

Fair Thee Well, April.

7 comments

Peace, April.

Bring on May.

Two months to go.  Just two months.

The finish line is so close I can taste it.  (Don’t ask me what it tastes like, you probably wont like the answer.)

Be safe out there, and I promise to put something up worth reading as soon as I can find enough time to actually breathe.

How Cool…

10 comments

How cool is cadaver lab?

Do you know what I got to do today?  I was able to run my fingers along the surface of a  human heart. I saw the bicuspid and tricuspid valves, I observed a textbook example of LVH, I looked on as my instructor pointed out the coronary arteries as they crawled their way around the muscle .

Pardon me while I have a cardiac geek moment.

I held a human brain in my hands.  It weighs a bit more than I had anticipated, by the way.  I was able to compare an average brain to one of a 99-year-old woman with Alzheimer’s.  I was able to see the spaces left by cerebral atrophy.

I watched a pair of lungs inflate as they were ventilated.

I traced the routes of some of the cranial nerves.

I felt how thick an aorta is, and actually saw the points in the body where aortic aneurysms are most likely to occur.

I observed a human kidney, the spleen, liver, the gall bladder, the appendix…

It was one of the single coolest (and educational) experiences of my life.

And I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this had it not been for the fantastic people who gave so much to send me to Paramedic school.  I’m in the homestretch, ya’ll.  Just a few more short months and I’m done.

Thank you.  Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to do this.

Ill Equipped.

17 comments

6/2007

“Are you okay?  You look a little pale.”

My preceptor was talking directly to me, and I heard him, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer.  The truth was that I was most definitely NOT okay.  I was not okay.  But that wasn’t something that I wanted to put on display.  I wanted to be the portrait of strength, not the sobbing wreck who wanted to toss her cookies right there next to her preceptor’s partner in the ambulance bay.

**********

“This, folks,  is what I love about this job.”  Scott, aka “The Preceptor” was sitting on the step on the side of the truck that led into the patient compartment.    His partner, Danny Boy, was snoring loudly in the back of the truck.  I sat in the front passenger’s seat, window open, just watching.  He was physically beat, hell, we all were. 12 runs in ten hours.  12 runs that took twice as long as they should have because he had me with him.  I was slow.  I’ll admit it. I was being ridiculously thorough.  Paperwork took longer, assessments took longer, everything took longer.

It had been a long day, but it was ending in spectacular fashion.  We were on standby at a house fire.  For a girl who has had zero fire experience, it was fantastic to watch.  Every color in the spectrum was lighting up the summer sky.  It was the first time in my life that I thought that I might want to learn more about this “fire stuff”.  I was watching the flames when I heard a frantic voice.  A screaming voice.

“WE HAVE A KID!”

No.  No no no.  No kid.  No people.  The house was supposed to be empty. Scott jumped from his seat and was in the back of the truck before our information had a chance to make it’s way from my brain to my body.  He was screaming at Danny Boy to “Wakethefuckup” while he furiously grabbed at whatever equipment we could possibly need.

“Epi, getyourassbackhere!” Whatever calm Scott had in him had gone out the window.  I was out the door before he had a chance to finish yelling.

Almost as quickly a large man with a mixture of steam and smoke coming off of his shoulders deposited a tiny limp blackened body into Scott’s arms.

I can’t repeat the string of expletives that escaped my lips.

I found myself ill equipped.  I worked on a transfer truck for crying out loud.  I didn’t see burned babies… I saw dialysis patients.  I saw wound care patients.  On occasion I took a stable MVC patient to the ER or got the chance to dodge vomit. Once in a great while I was on a truck for a chest pain patient or a CVA. Certainly not a charred baby the age of my littlest one.

I jumped into the empty captain’s chair and reached for the airway bag while Danny Boy tore the boys clothes from his little body and The Preceptor checked the little one’s vitals.

As we suspected.  Pulseless.  Apneic.

**********

Continued tomorrow night.

Cardiac.

13 comments

The dreaded cardiac chapter is officially behind me.

I made it through.

And while my scores were marginally lower than they were the first time I went through the class (and I beat the crap out of myself for that), what I learned this time around far surpassed my experience at the last program.

Next stop is “Big Test #1″ on Wednesday.  It covers everything from day one through now, and it’s one of those “make it or break it” tests.

Another milestone.

Myself and my classmates are getting a little crispy, but once we conquer this next challenge I have a feeling a few of us will be able to breathe just a bit easier.

Pockets.

9 comments

A few of my friends have played along and I really needed to do something mindless, so here goes.

After an ER clinical I decided to empty my BDU pockets, and GOOD GOD when did I start carrying so much crap?  I thought the longer you worked in EMS the LESS stuff you carry?  When I started all I carried was my drivers license, a pen and my cell phone.  Five years later, here’s what’s on me most days.

Key chain complete with O2 tank key (it’s there for a reason, at a former employer there was never a wrench to be found), keys to the pumpkin mobile and keycards to all of the local gas stations.  Gotta get my speedway points when filling up the squad ya know!

Change purse with cash and the DL.

Pens (I’m always losing them).

Carmex (don’t leave home without it).

Scissors (expose, expose, expose).

Ipod touch loaded up with various med apps.  Perfect for doing a little research in the downtime.

Rhythm strips from that shift.

ID badges to the clinical sites.

Roll of tape (that particular roll has an interesting story behind it, another post for another time).

Drug cards for studying and blank cards for taking notes.

Cell phone.

Field guide.

No wonder I feel like my pants weigh three times what they should.

One More Step Forward

6 comments

I know I’m supposed to be taking a break from the blogging thing…

And I am. Seriously.

Okay, cut a girl some slack.  It’s a Sunday night.  The Super Bowl is on for crying out loud.  I know I’m not the only student out there who put their big red book down in order to watch some football! (Or to write a quick post while watching some football…  GO SAINTS, btw.)

Friday was a big day.  Friday was the day our class (as well as half the company who happens to own my school), tested out for ACLS.  Not such a big deal for them, hell, they’ve been there before.  Some of them several times.

For us, for the students, it was a biggish thing.  It was a milestone.

The class started with a handout.

Yikes. As if I wasn’t nervous enough already. (Excellent article btw!  I highly recommend it.  I’m working on locating it online.)

It continued with me several times forgetting the importance of ventilation.    At one point I was ordered to “exhale” by a classmate because I was “paler than usual”. My hands shook, my stomach hurt, and basically, I was a train wreck.

I stumbled through my practice run.  I didn’t make any critical mistakes, but I did have issues with the print button on the LP resulting in a few two foot long strips. I was a little slow on one of the rhythms that I would have known without thinking about it any other day.

I feel like I’m right where I was the last time I did this, minus the dislocated and fractured bones.

I headed out for lunch on my own, just needing some time to clear my head and give myself a little pep talk. I thought back to a classmate who just three days before had slid a note in front of me that said “YOU GOT THIS!”

And all of a sudden, I realized that I did.

I got this.

**********

The switch was flipped.

No shaky hands, no forgetting to breathe.  (I was still a little pale though.)

My point is, I was focused, I wasn’t nervous, and *this girl* emerged with a card.  (And for my old school Medics out there, I realize what ACLS has turned into, but at this point I have to take every step forward as a victory.  I reject your reality and substitute my own!)

For those of you who coached me, or studied with me, or maybe a little bit of both, Thank you.

One more step forward.

A little kick in the backside…

3 comments

For the students out there.

Courtesy of my Blogfather, Ambulance Driver.

Thanks, AD, for getting my head straight yet again :)  Now, back to studying.

Time is muscle…

4 comments

Now before you yell at me, I’m just popping in for a second because I wanted to share a video with you.

This is a PSA from the UK that we were shown in class yesterday on the importance of not ignoring the signs of an MI. It’s good stuff.

Back to studying!

The Takeover.

11 comments

P school is not easy.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s your first attempt or your third.  Nothing about constantly having your nose in a book, balancing work with school (and clinical time, and third rides) is fun or easy.

And it’s not supposed to be.

And then you hit the dreaded Cardiac chapter.  And even though you might have been through this before, you realize that you have to read the same paragraph three times to retain the information.  Information that you had down pat just a few years earlier seems to run away to the parts of your head that you can’t access at the most inopportune times.

You find yourself unable to remember what you walked into the kitchen for.  You start calling your four-year-old little girl by the wrong name.  Repeatedly.  And She’s less than impressed by this.  Then again she’s less than impressed by just about everything you do and at least it’s a name she recognizes…

The truth is that I’ve hit a brick wall.  And something has to give. Unfortunately for now that has to be my posts here.  For just a little bit.

That being said an amazing group of people have stepped forward and offered to takeover the blog for a bit. Some of them you’ll know, some you might not be as familiar with.  All of them are far better at this writing stuff than I am.

I’ll be back as soon as I’m through cardiac.

With that being said, I’m very honored to present you with our first guest blogger, Greg Friese.

**********

5 Things I learned in Paramedic School

In May of 2005 I completed a nine month paramedic program. Nearly five years later I can barely comprehend how I attended class two or three days a week, finished all my clinicals before the end of March, worked full-time, and welcomed our first child into the world eight weeks before graduation.

Along the way I learned a few things that I don’t recall seeing in the syllabus and as I look back may be the most important lessons I learned.

  1. Everyone has advice, but that advice is not always for everyone. Lower the bevel angle. Who showed you to use such a low angle? Approach from the lateral edge. Plunge right in. Move real slow. Tension the skin here. That is not enough tension. That is too much tension. Start high. Start low. I could probably write a reasonably sized book with all the various IV insertion advice I received. Like most things there are many techniques, tips, and tricks. Once I focused on just doing it with confidence the cascade of advice dried up and my success rate increased.
  2. I couldn’t learn it all. Not in nine months, probably not even in 24 months could I learn everything about being a paramedic. What I did get though was a foundation so I could keep learning and growing as a paramedic.
  3. The people that smile a lot were always helpful. Kristen, an ER nurse, had an amazing smile. I remember pushing and pulling a recently deceased patient onto the funeral home gurney as she continued to explain and teach me about the code we had run an hour earlier. I gravitated to Kristen even though she was not my “official” preceptor because she was friendly with her patients. Her enthusiasm for being with patients and their families overflowed onto me and other students. Spend time with the people that genuinely smile the quickest when you enter the room.
  4. Neonatal Advanced Life Support certification is way more information than any expecting dad should have seven days before their first child’s due date. As the Doctor explained the worrisome fetal monitor tracing, copious red vaginal bleeding, and weakening contractions I wished for ignorance. Instead my mind raced with things like placenta abruption, uterine rupture, and breach birth as the surgical team rushed into the room preparing my wife for an emergency c-section. Thankfully, less than an hour later a ten and half pound boy entered the world healthy and screaming and NALS worries drained away.
  5. Priorities can change really fast when something big happens. There were several big events during my paramedic training – a large work project, a dramatic situation with a friend, and our first child. Each time something big happened I reshuffled the deck and came up with a new plan. I would love to tell you I studied as hard, listened as well, and read just as many pages in the last two months as I did in the first seven months. But there was no way I could hammer out another hour of studying when little Michael just needed to be cuddled.

Finally, stress and fatigue for me come in waves. Throughout paramedic class there were highs and lows. Then and now when I recognize I am at the peak of the stress wave I try to step out of it for a moment, reaffirm where I am going, eliminate any obvious clutter, and reenergize for the next manageable chunk of time and tasks.

Greg Friese is paramedic, educator, and online CE designer. His blog is http://everydayemstips.com and he co-hosts the http://emseducast.com podcast.

Changes.

8 comments

1/07/10

I’m sitting here in the station in complete darkness surrounded by a symphony of snoring men.

Yes, Boy Wonder, you snore.  D.  You snore too. We all knew the Lt. snores, although tonight he seems to be bringing his own version of shock and awe to the mix.  Shock and awe, ya’ll.  If only they could get their gasps coordinated I would You Tube it in a heartbeat.  Maybe with a little creative editing…

So I’m sitting here, the insomniac that I am, and I can’t help but think about how much has changed in my life in the last year.

It’s like night and day.

12 months ago.

12 months ago after a few months of being hopelessly unemployed, McHottie dragged me down to Ma and Pa EMS to apply for a Basic spot. We were both hired on the spot without having to do as much as filling out an application.  Gainfully employed, this girl rejoiced. It wasn’t pefect, but it was a job doing what I loved.  And no, I didn’t make the above cot. And yes, that’s a backboard strap wrapped over the side rails, but who am I to judge?

Eleven months ago.

11 months ago we had a new addition to the family, our first puppy, Dasher. We quickly learned how much fun it is to raise (and in particular house train) a puppy.  Dash, for his part, chewed everything in the house with the exception of the toys and bones we bought him.  Eleven months later he’s quadrupled in size and still chews everything but the toys and bones.  But he is house trained.

10 months ago my little boy was an anxious wreck.  He needed everyone’s acceptance, he wanted to be a friend to anyone who would talk to him.  This put a tremendous bulls-eye on his eight-year-old back.  He had one friend in the class, and that “friend” was only interested in playing on the Wii or the computer when he’d come over.  Ten months later he’s got more friends than he can count on two hands and he’s constantly on the phone.  His self confidence has grown by leaps and bounds.  He’s accomplished this all while retaining his love of learning.  I couldn’t be prouder.

Nine Months ago…

9 months ago my own precious little snowflake, SWR (that was sarcasm for those of you who are slow to pick up on it), was pushing four-years-old and had been defying me where potty training was concerned for over a year.  This was a massive point of contention between my Mother and I.  I was at my wits end, nothing was working. I read books, I listened to anyone and everyone with advice…   She was completely defying me.  Anyone who’s met her in person would understand what I’m saying completely.  She’s a mini me. Nine months later she’s very much potty trained.  She’s still stubborn as hell (she is my daughter remember), but her meltdowns are fewer and farther between.

8 months ago I met a patient who would change my way of thinking forever.  I met Regina. Up until this point I had tremendous emotional issues when it came to Hospice runs.  In just under three weeks of visits with Regina, watching her body rebel against her, seeing the pain involved where something as evil as Cancer is concerned… I finally learned that death is a release for these patients.  I will never forget Regina, one of the most amazing people I’ve had the honor of meeting.

Seven months ago…

7 months ago my Mom married the man I’ve called my second Father for the last 18 years.  The clouds parted, the birds sang, and for a day our world was all sunshine and roses.  My baby Brother and I rejoiced.  Seven months later she’s finally gotten around to changing her name on her work voice mail.  And my Brother and I are still rejoicing.

6 months ago I determined that P school was going to be an impossibility.  I was resigned to it.  It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was a disappointing setback.    67 people decided that this was unacceptable.  I am to this day, and will always be absolutely humbled by the amazing support of the blogging (the EMS bloggers and readers in particular) community.   It renders me speechless when I try to explain the way it makes me feel.

5 months ago…

5 months ago I started my second attempt at that glitter badge.  I quickly made 13 friends with a common goal and addiction to caffeine.

Four months ago…

4 months ago I stood proudly on the sidelines and watched my boy play his first game of soccer.  Four months later, despite being one of the slower, less experienced members of the team, he still loves the game and wants to play.  His skills are improving and next month hopefully he’ll be starting a six week indoor season!

Three months ago…

3 months ago I realized that I wasn’t getting everything I needed from the P program I was in, which just about killed me.  I was with a group of people who I absolutely adored, people who I felt  at home with.  People who I was very much attached to.  After more than a few phone calls with Rockstar Partner, much soul searching and more than a few tears, I made a phone call to another school.  And the instructor accepted me into the program with open arms.  Three months later I’m frazzled as hell but loving every single second of it.

Not so long ago…

2 months ago I made yet another move.  I applied to a new company in town and was hired on full time.  I had a really good feeling about this company from the start, and knew I was in the right place from the first time I walked in the door.  Lt. T. (THE best supervisor I’ve ever worked with), D (who lost his intermediate card to me in a fierce game of Monopoly, but keeps me smiling ), and Boy Wonder (who would be my partner I’m VERY proud to say) have been the most amazing crew to work with.  McHottie, Tall Dark and Irish, K., and AJ are also working here.  I’m surrounded by the best and brightest, and there’s no stopping us –  or what we can do with this new opportunity!

1 short month ago I finally was able to see the sun shine through the clouds.  I’m in a good place, surrounded by my people.  I’m moving forward toward obtaining that damn P card (come hell or high water!!!) For the first time in I dont know how long, everyone around me is all good.

A far cry from 12 months ago.

A far cry.

365 Project 1/8/10 and 1/9/10

4 comments

My 1/8/10 submission may possibly break the rules. No picture today, but a very blurry video.

You remember the post I did about my Rockstar Partner?

Yeah, this guy.

There was a comment and a few emails about video being needed.

It took me awhile, but I managed to catch another one of Rockstar Partner’s shows, and while the video quality is craptastic (totally my fault), the audio is decent… If not a little loud.  So without further ado, I present RP.

This is a guy who I have barely known a year who has been there for me from day one.  I consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity to get to know not only him, but his ridiculously beautiful and sweet wife and their even more dazzling baby girl.

Working in private EMS, particularly in my area, well, it’s kind of thankless. It’s nice to have someone you can trust completely who will listen to you vent.  Venting is a good thing.

That’s where RP and I are. I’m grateful to have him around.  As a partner and as a fellow classmate.

By the way, when he’s singing at the top of his lungs at three in the morning, he doesn’t sound anything like this. And the lyrics don’t make much sense. Again, my apologies for the video quality.

***********

Lying in Wait.

Date:  01/09/10

Time:  1350ish

Subject:  My Dashboard, five minutes before a CCU clinical.

I know, this is some captivating stuff, yeah?  The truth is that I had my camera on me and knew that I needed to take a picture for today, and this was the only thing that caught my attention.

Medic school is stressful.  Anyone who’s done it once (or twice, or three times) will tell you that.    Even more so if you work full time and/or have smaller children while you’re going through it.  You work your ass off and try to be a good parent and a good spouse.  You are constantly buried in a big red book, or drug cards, or ACLS algorithms, or trying to remember what cranial nerve controls what.   When you aren’t fighting like hell to be a good parent for your little ones, you’re listening to a lecture.  When you aren’t fighting to stay awake during a lecture, you’re at work.  When you aren’t at work, you’re at a clinical. When you aren’t doing clinical time you’re fighting off nerves (at least I am) during a lab.  Every once in awhile you get to sleep.

It’s not fun, ya’ll. Not by a long shot.

That being said, becoming a Paramedic is something that is just in me.  I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.